Innocence

After Christmas weekend, I realize that the world is progressing faster and faster.

2010 is almost here.

It seems almost yesterday that I was a child.
The recess bell ringing, premeditating cries of laughter.
Running through the playground,
Chasing my imaginations,
Filled with vibrant colors,
Feeling every raw new emotion,
Expressing it as it was,
Love,
Madness,
Jealousness,
Sadness,
Happiness,
Facination,
Confusion,
Oblivious and enlightened.

Back then, I had no idea my friends and I would eventually tear apart.
I didn't understand what cliches meant.

All I cared about was gliding across the blacktop with people who felt the same, eager to touch one another in a simple game of tag.

The very same kids I played Four Square and Tetherball with, grew with time, as well as I.

We all eventually grew apart and categorized into clicks.
Soon it was a matter of not hanging out with someone because of the way the dressed, thought, felt, and looked.

We all experienced peer pressure in different forms, some giving into drugs, some changing who they were, some winding up pregnant.

The more and more judgmental we all became, subconscious, and drone.

Such an opposition from the moment we met each other and jumped right into a game of Dodgeball with no expectations.

I believed, back then, that that was life, and that there was so much to do.

I believed that it was with these kids, that I would end up growing old with.
Not knowing the stage inbetween would tear us apart.

It was pure magic, the era of pre-adolescence.




I need to find who I lost.
That child within me.
I will not let the 'real' world take it away.
I will let my mind roam like lions and tigers in distant greenlands,
I will let my mind unfold with thoughts of greatness
Believe in fairytales and magic. And love.
She still exists.



“I think I spent 30 years of my life, trying to become something, I wanted to become good at things, I wanted to become good at tennis, I wanted to become good at school and grades and everything I kind of viewed in that perspective.
I'm not okay the way I am, but if I got good at things.
I realized I had the game wrong, because the game was to find out what I already was.”
-Zeitgeist